Archives: sleep

Sitting waiting for the train to take me home. Brain does not really want to communicate, but then it did not this morning. I should sleep more. I used to sleep a lot, but that was years ago… sigh.

Yeah! – At least the train has started to take me home now.

My brother’s birthday tomorrow, & despite fretting & wondering what the hell to get him, I have to conclude I’m hopeless. No ideas whatsoever – just a list of things not to get him… sigh. I have to conclude that I don’t really know where my brother’s everyday interests lie any more. I’m not even sure if he has time to read… <shrug> I don’t have time to read books any more… comics on the other hand… Hmmm… comics… Maybe there is some salvation there… There have been a few good collected indies released recently… All I have to do is find a decent comics shop (damnation – foiled again: oxymoron).

Louise’s birthday soon – but she has expressed a preference…

Eve’s birthday soon – but what cold she be wanting for? I think she might enjoy this birthday this time… she’s at the age when it is actually starting to mean something. Hopefully Jack will not be left out though…

Eve slept all the way through the night in her own bed last night. She actually fell asleep on me in yesterday evening. She seems reluctant to sleep during the day nowadays, so when she has a busy little day, she can be just plain worn out on an evening.

Jack has taken it upon himself to try to get up early… He dashed out of bed at 5:00 this morning, off down the hall – into the bedroom & came to us to announce that he wanted to get up early. We told him it was way too early, & he fortunately was able to drift off to sleep again (unlike me who worried my 5:30 alarm might wake him again). Still – it was only 6:10 that I heard him descending the steps. I’m not really sure why he want to be up & about. He said that he wanted to be awake before Eve one time, but then this darned programme called ‘The Hoobs’ is on at that hour & he does seem to like watching that as well… If it is for the TV… the TV might mysteriously stop working before a pre-defined time… Hmph – not sure how I could do that one really. I will have to look at the settings on it – there could well be something there.

Weird… I actually finished our/to be the kid’s room last night. The walls are all now painted – 2 walls pistachio & 2 walls varnished lining paper. I might get a couple of days rest while I recoup & maybe sort out a few bits & bobs; reviews & alike.

We should be able to sleep back upstairs again. Louise & I have had to resort to the sofa bed, as it’s been a bit smelly. The kids have not been too put out by this – perhaps a little confused, but they liked ligging on it in the mornings before it got put away.

Do I have a sense of triumph at having finished the room? No, not really; more bemusement. The kids could be in there in a couple of weeks as we are now plotting an expedition to Ikea so that we can get them a bed each. Not sure what other furniture we might need, but we cannot plan for too much at the moment. We will move into their small room while I sort out the decorating of the attic room. A setback up there is the fact that we have leak around the chimney breast again. With all the heavy downpours we’ve had recently a seriously damp patch has appeared. The builders have been called again to have another look at things, but we worry. Louise was talking of having the pot removed & roofed over, but how would that leave us if we wanted to put a fire in? I would like that option to remain. Not that I want a ‘real’ fire – having tended some in my time their a bother in a world of convenience. I do not have the patience to fret over keeping something going & cleaned out like some flipping pet. A mechanical (pet fire) which you switch on & off with gas would be my ideal there. Time may come.

Eve has been a little manic now & then recently. Canniness are still teething. They’ve both been a little over tired of recent due to disrupted sleep – Eve through her teething & Jack as he’s woke a little earlier than he should. They’ve coped well with it though – not really grumpy or anything & still playing together quite well. Jack did get a bit frustrated with his trains last night though, as they would not stay together in a, …uh, train. They are a set not designed for uneven carpets – so they keep coming apart – which makes him howl with frustration.

Eve’s language continues to develop & amuse. Not a good example of her language skills, but; as she woke from her afternoon nap yesterday, she pleaded, “Tooaaasssttt” – to which Louise asked if she would like her to do some toast? “No, crisps!”. Sigh.

Brain is focussed on stomach again, which this morning is feeling gripey. Bah. Feel run down a bit; too many things to do & wanting to try to cram too much into the day. Mornings (writing on the morning train) are not the best time of the day for me at the moment.

Bah

Louise hosted an ‘NCT’ meeting at our house yesterday. It’s not an official ‘National Childbirth Trust’ meet, more a group of mothers, but still… It went well to all accounts. Eve was not phased by all these people descending on the house, & there were a lot of babies, to which she exclaimed “‘Nother Baby!”

Another Eve saying at the moment is “Parpy bottom” (A self-descriptive term).

New people started at work yesterday. There will be 3 in all, but we only saw 2 yesterday – such is the staggering of the introductions. Too early to say what I think of anyone & how I feel they will fit in. The fact that they turned up in shirt & tie (we have a relaxed dress code, thankfully) makes judgement all the more difficult.

We shall see…

Groggy (gosh, what a surprise) this morning – polyfillering late again… It seems I always find a little that I can do. My alarm is having to protest at me for me to get out of bed. I normally respond automatically & just start the day, but I’m getting a dangerous tendency to lig a little longer.

Eve was reluctant to sleep last night & made quite a fuss about going in the cot, but go she did & fuss she did. It took a good long while for her to calm down, but Louise did not get her out of the cot again. She cuddled her, but did not lift her. We do not want her getting the idea of a precedence set. It was Jack who eventually calmed her down… Well, distracted her by complaining at her that she was being, “Too loud” so he “could not hear the story” I was tying to read. She turned round as if to say “what?” & from then started to settle again. She was excepting enough to lay back down in the cot with her rabbit & milk (not a ‘bottle with a teat’ – she’s never had one of those). Jack drifted off to sleep as I read Whinie The Pooh (he doesn’t like “big books” a a rule, but this one does have quite a few pictures in it). I got up to turn the light out to leave & Eve’s still awake. Uh-oh… Feel like I’ve been caught doing something that I shouldn’t be so I flap my arms nervously, grin sheepishly & say to her that, “I’m just turning the light off” do so & lie back down with Jack again. Just so she knows there’s someone in the room, like. I give it 5 minutes before I check & she has drifted off to sleep now. She was slow blinking when I stood up, so I guess the darkness was the final blow to wakefulness.

There is too much to take in at the moment.
Trying to get a grip on world issues that require focus, when
there’s so much going on, but then only one thing going on. The
rest of the world is demand to stay still while we all contemplate
the future… but the world will not stand still.

Platitudes on my part… all words written
on this subject have that annoying echo at the moment
though.

Israel has been ‘at war’ with ‘terrorism’
for… how long now… probably since it’s inception – & is it
any closer to winning? It seems far more like it’s been getting a
lot worse this past year… why might that be? Could it be that it
is ‘at war’ with ‘terrorism’ & this war only sows the seeds of
greater discontent & desperation? Gosh – surely not – that
would be self defeating, surely?

sigh

It depresses me that I read that Israel are
taking the opportunity to metaphorically rub the Palestinians noses
in it, when Arafat is calling for restraint for the very reason
that Israel will feel it can act with impunity… when it already
is. Tanks in Jericho, shelling in Bethlehem, missiles in Gaza,
unrealistic demands for cease-fire & peace talks
vetoed.

It alarms me that Pakistan has agreed to
America’s demands for ‘assistance’ in their ‘war on terrorism’ – be
this as a base for attacks or whatever. It makes me despair that
America might see this as a good thing… I mean – Pakistan is no
democracy – it’s a military dictatorship that relies on the support
or right wing fundamentalist parties for a lot of their support…
& what are they going to make of this… a country in dispute
with it’s neighbour India over Kashmir & a fledgling potential
nuclear power…

And in this country… The BBC apologises
as ‘Question Time’ is deemed to have been offensive as it seems
that it was suggested that America’s ‘attitude’ to Islamic states
in general & its perceived intransigence might have been one
of the factors involved with the fact that the attack happened in
the 1st place. Freedom of speech is not actually a ‘right’ in this
country, no matter what might be thought.

America acts like a colonial power while
hating colonialism & Israel fears aggression while acting like
the aggressor. Thus we become the things we hate.

I rant on – don’t get me wrong; I am
willing to admit I am misinformed when presented with a coherent
argument. I am willing to be told that the rumours of scenes that
were shown on the day of ‘the news’ of Palestinians celebrating on
the event are not old footage.

All I really want, like most people, is
peace & justice, but it seems a lot of people cannot see that
the 2 are not mutually exclusive.

I write this because I feel I need to say
it to someone other than my wife as we agree too much on the
subject & I probably fear having to explain myself in a
conversation. The ‘printed page’ is a very handy outlet.

Oh, indulge me – let me rattle my little
cage where I don’t care who’s watching.

Jack shouted out, just I was going to bed,
“I’ve got another thingy!” a couple of times. Went in the kids room
to see how he was & he was still sound asleep… So that was a
little odd. He had quite a disturbed night’s dreaming. Shuffling
round a fair bit after he came into our bed & mainly cuddling
up to me instead of Louise… so… Louise had a good nights sleep,
whereas I found myself bunched up at the end of the bed. He had
even got out from the covers at one point & was facing the
wrong way, so I had the delight of having his feet in my
face…

Was (my brother) Neil & Jessica’s
engagement party at the weekend. It would have been good to go, but
logistic & expenses were against us. Mum called us on Sunday
morning. It was, I guess, to tell us how it went. Jack answered the
phone & spoke to mum for a good 10 minutes letting her know
what he had been doing of recent. Mum said that the party at
Jessica’s parent’s house sounded rather grand. They had dropped off
things at the house & popped of for a round of golf. They got a
bit stuck in traffic (be it on the course or the home road is
unclear) but thought all was well, as they thought it all started
as an event at 1:00 pm. It seems that there was a bit of a
misjudgment there… as the ‘ceremony’ was actually at 1:00. They
missed it!! So Neil’s side of the family let him down in Jessica’s
family’s eye’s badly. Ah, well.

Did I get any decorating done last night? Did I chuff! I did ‘play’ on the computer though. Got a nice chunk of redesigning the bits behind this page done*. Rejigged it so that it is better HTML & uses CSS so that it’s… well, basically better code & easier to ‘administrate’. Not seemingly a lot of good, but it’s a pride thing. I’d been playing with icab as a browser again. It’s a nice little thing, but if a page has ‘bad’ HTML coding it has a little icon of a ‘smiley face’ on the menu bar that goes red & unhappy. I thought I’d cheer it up. There’s still a <strike> code in the August page which I want to keep – so it’s only moderately happy there.

Louise & I were chatting about how well the kids are doing at the moment. She’s chuffed at the was Jack has settled into the school routine so well. I don’t really get that much of an impression on how he is doing, as, I guess Louise gets the detail off him. He did say to me that they had done ‘curly c’ yesterday, but then he knows most of his letters now. The social side of things is enjoyed. They played out 3 times yesterday…

Eve seems to be coming on very well with her language. Louise says that they chat most of the day, so I guess that she would. She says Eve’s ability to copy words is impressive. When talking of colours (which she does not quite ‘get’ yet) she repeated “bluey-green” after the one speaking. Not a useful word, but quite a complicated one. Eve is picking up on singing as well. ‘Wheels on the bus’ was sung yesterday & Eve joined in & may well have been singing it afterwards to. She does sometimes break into a rendition of ‘Twinkle Tinkle Little Star’ but only a few phrases. As we were doing the bed time routine yesterday, I was having difficulty concentrating on reading to Jack as I was listening to the conversation Louise & Eve were having as she tried to persuade her that she should go into her cot.
A lot of replies from Eve like, “No bed”, “No Cot” & even a “No thank you”. Choice was not really an option in the end, & she did go in her cot with the minimum of complaint (crying about the injustice of it all).

*original html based diary pages

i am special …say it every day

Write a comics review? Write the diary? Write a comics review? Write the diary? Write a comics review? Write the diary?

…..

Well, as there are details that I would like to say about what Jack’s been doing at school, & as my memory is feeling scorched by tiredness (detail eludes me) – reviews it is. Maybe I’ll be back writing more diary in a minute…

Bleh

not a great night sleep. Had metaphorical dreams of clearing my chest – wiping data from a computer that I did not want – appropriate enough for my foolish computer addled brain. Tidied up our/to be the kids bedroom yesterday. Took all to hyuge boxes of books & records upstairs again. Was surprised that I could actually lift a couple of them! We weeded through a couple of boxes as well – disposing of books that we will never be reading, & do not really want gracing any shelves that we may have in the future. Three bags & a small box full to go to the ‘book bin’ at the recycling point in town (for Oxfam).

Anyway – all the shifting & opening of books generated the sort of dust that really gets to me, & thus I have ‘tight lungs’; just a bit of a phlegmy cough – the sort of thing that does not help sleep. Still, I don’t feel too bad this morning, that considered. I really must not stay up too late tonight or I will really start to turn into a zombie. Still a lot more sorting out to do! I rather hope that we can get some bookshelves for downstairs, it would be good to have the sort of thing again. The records tough… eep – what are we going to do with those long term? The do make excellent ballast for a bottom shelf (making a free standing unit very stable.

Jack was all keen to help, & Eve enjoyed pottering about, but I was left on my own in the end to tidy things up. Jack later burst into tears when he realised I’d done this as he was evidently been expecting to help. Louise went round ‘our/to be the kids’ room later & hoovered & so on, so it now looks… unnaturally tidy! Weird. I guess that’s what we are supposed to aspire to though. Perhaps when the walls are one uniform colour & not half wallpapered & half green washed old plaster with many patches of polyfiller… Be nice if we can stretch to a new carpet in there as well, but I feel that may be pushing it a bit.

Read James Kolchaka’s Diary strips the over the weekend. Finished it over my morning breakfast. It’s an intriguing thing. I’ve read a few diary comics (John Welding’s Goathland & Jim Cameron’s ‘ision’ series) but this is in the form of a 4 panel strip. It must have occurred to him at some point that this could be ‘sellable’ to a ‘daily’ paper. Having said that I may be being over cruel in my thinking on his motivation. It may have started with no real intention of being used in that way… Means must at times. Whatever, the whole concept intrigues me. I keep this text as a form of diary, & the limitations are frustrating, but they are usually due to my Lousy memory & inability to capture those tiny moments of life that are so interesting. It makes me think that drawing a 4 panel cartoon in this was would be a good discipline, but I have so little time to do what I want in the 1st place, that this seems a foolish ambition. It makes me think that I should at least try to illustrate, in whatever way, my daily ramblings.

What has James achieved in his comic? Well, I would recommend it as a comic to another comic creator, but I have misgivings as to how Joe Public would approach such an item. James snatches little moments in time, & they range across many little facets of life… love frustration & the occasional bit of crabby joy. Reading an individual strip would only make you feel as though nothing was happening, but a collection like this, or a daily drip feed, I think would soon have people hooked (even a great many of Joe Public). People, I guess are inherently nosey, & this, you could amply theorise, is just another block in the ‘Big Brother’ syndrome (as we is all big brother now). It’s kinda sweet, & I like the way he draws – always have.

Louise was chatting about what the kids had been doing the day
before as we were drifting off to sleep last night. The kids have
been real charming, by the sound of it… but can I remember a
single detail? Can I heck as like. Usual morning brain fog. No
thought swim in my head – just the surface activity of moving from
A to B & these words that pop to the ends of my fingers as I
type.
My typical dilemma of not being able to think; creatively or
otherwise. Or was that ‘concentrate’? Oh, never mind… Manchester
arrives at the train so I have to make me arrive at
work.

Groggy morning. John Peel woke me last night playing something
between Techno & Gabba on the World Service (we tend to have
the radio on through the night). Not wholly unpleasant & there
was a good tune after that track, but I was not really conscious
enough to pay attention. I miss not listening to Peely music shows,
& that sort of rousing from slumber is often all I get. Hey
ho.
We cut Eve’s hair a little the other day. She’d already had her
fringe trimmed when Jack had his last cut, but the back was
starting to get a little flyaway, so we reduced it to a bob…
which has worked surprisingly well – neat & even. As she is not
one for keeping still we did fear we would make a pig’s ear of it,
but it’s cute… & sort of ‘Christopher Robin’, in the modes of
hairdo you see young Christopher illustrated with in the Whinnie
the Pooh books. We are not so confident in thinking that this is
something we might attempt to maintain. It may be the hairdressers
again next time. Louise managed to get her hair cut yesterday, as
she was starting to feel uncomfortable with it, so that’s all of us
done now – no mop head family.
Ug… Not particularly inclined to write this morning. Groggy –
brain not really picking up & going through any thought
processes.
I have had a few reviews in for ZUM! & have been busying
myself with a little site maintenance there, so at least I feel I’m
achieving a little at the moment. Not so much as being able to
concentrate to do reviews myself, but hope still lingers.
Thinking of putting a weekly music file up on my diary pages –
what I’m currently fixated on musically. Now I’ve mentioned it, I
guess I will have to implement it. Recently been downloading some
old JAMMs from way back – 87 I think. I rather wish there was a Mac
version of the audiogalaxy
satellite.