Archives: jess

There is too much to take in at the moment.
Trying to get a grip on world issues that require focus, when
there’s so much going on, but then only one thing going on. The
rest of the world is demand to stay still while we all contemplate
the future… but the world will not stand still.

Platitudes on my part… all words written
on this subject have that annoying echo at the moment
though.

Israel has been ‘at war’ with ‘terrorism’
for… how long now… probably since it’s inception – & is it
any closer to winning? It seems far more like it’s been getting a
lot worse this past year… why might that be? Could it be that it
is ‘at war’ with ‘terrorism’ & this war only sows the seeds of
greater discontent & desperation? Gosh – surely not – that
would be self defeating, surely?

sigh

It depresses me that I read that Israel are
taking the opportunity to metaphorically rub the Palestinians noses
in it, when Arafat is calling for restraint for the very reason
that Israel will feel it can act with impunity… when it already
is. Tanks in Jericho, shelling in Bethlehem, missiles in Gaza,
unrealistic demands for cease-fire & peace talks
vetoed.

It alarms me that Pakistan has agreed to
America’s demands for ‘assistance’ in their ‘war on terrorism’ – be
this as a base for attacks or whatever. It makes me despair that
America might see this as a good thing… I mean – Pakistan is no
democracy – it’s a military dictatorship that relies on the support
or right wing fundamentalist parties for a lot of their support…
& what are they going to make of this… a country in dispute
with it’s neighbour India over Kashmir & a fledgling potential
nuclear power…

And in this country… The BBC apologises
as ‘Question Time’ is deemed to have been offensive as it seems
that it was suggested that America’s ‘attitude’ to Islamic states
in general & its perceived intransigence might have been one
of the factors involved with the fact that the attack happened in
the 1st place. Freedom of speech is not actually a ‘right’ in this
country, no matter what might be thought.

America acts like a colonial power while
hating colonialism & Israel fears aggression while acting like
the aggressor. Thus we become the things we hate.

I rant on – don’t get me wrong; I am
willing to admit I am misinformed when presented with a coherent
argument. I am willing to be told that the rumours of scenes that
were shown on the day of ‘the news’ of Palestinians celebrating on
the event are not old footage.

All I really want, like most people, is
peace & justice, but it seems a lot of people cannot see that
the 2 are not mutually exclusive.

I write this because I feel I need to say
it to someone other than my wife as we agree too much on the
subject & I probably fear having to explain myself in a
conversation. The ‘printed page’ is a very handy outlet.

Oh, indulge me – let me rattle my little
cage where I don’t care who’s watching.

Jack shouted out, just I was going to bed,
“I’ve got another thingy!” a couple of times. Went in the kids room
to see how he was & he was still sound asleep… So that was a
little odd. He had quite a disturbed night’s dreaming. Shuffling
round a fair bit after he came into our bed & mainly cuddling
up to me instead of Louise… so… Louise had a good nights sleep,
whereas I found myself bunched up at the end of the bed. He had
even got out from the covers at one point & was facing the
wrong way, so I had the delight of having his feet in my
face…

Was (my brother) Neil & Jessica’s
engagement party at the weekend. It would have been good to go, but
logistic & expenses were against us. Mum called us on Sunday
morning. It was, I guess, to tell us how it went. Jack answered the
phone & spoke to mum for a good 10 minutes letting her know
what he had been doing of recent. Mum said that the party at
Jessica’s parent’s house sounded rather grand. They had dropped off
things at the house & popped of for a round of golf. They got a
bit stuck in traffic (be it on the course or the home road is
unclear) but thought all was well, as they thought it all started
as an event at 1:00 pm. It seems that there was a bit of a
misjudgment there… as the ‘ceremony’ was actually at 1:00. They
missed it!! So Neil’s side of the family let him down in Jessica’s
family’s eye’s badly. Ah, well.

Did not get to tidy the attic later. The day slipped by too lazy
& I ended up even falling asleep on the sofa at one point for a
few minutes. It seems I am more likely to have a daytime sleep than
Eve at the moment, as although she was plainly jiggered yesterday,
she absolutely refused to snooze.
Got an email from my brother Neil on Friday night reminding us of
Jess & his engagement party in about 4 weeks. Guilt descends.
Louise & I are quite reticent about attending. It’s not like we
don’t want to go, it would be good to get away, but the factors of
travelling, accommodation, time off work, Jack starting school,
& the basic long & short of no money really look to be
precluding the decision. Bah.
Called Mum & Dad to talk it over & initially got through
to dad as he tidied up at the restaurant. He was basically full of
the common sense advice I would expect, & tempered the feelings
of guilt we had about our difficulties in attending, but did leave
the door open by noting, if we needed we could stay down with
them.
Dad called mum at home who called us. Neil, it appears, had asked
mum to see if she could persuade us to come (so he must have
guessed our procrastination). Well, perhaps it miiight have worked
if I had spoken to mum 1st instead of dad, as the guilt factor
might have swung it, but mum knows me well enough to know when
further discussion will only make me dig my heels in. Sigh, it
would be really good to go, but the all round logistics will leave
us, well, struggling for too long afterwards. I now have the
difficult task of replying to Neil.
At least we got the reply to the unreasonable fee the Emergency Plumber we had
back in May who managed to do precisely
nothing to help us. I say ‘we’, but Louise crafted the letter as she is a lot
more precise in writing such things than I. One less thing hanging over us. We
do not expect to pay nothing, but we don’t expect to pay for nothing.

Eve did not, as Louise predicted, say “Where’s daddy” a lot yesterday… The kids accepted that I was at work & got on with things. It would have been nice to have been missed, but that is just vanity, really.
It was an open day at Jack’s school – a sort of ‘see how your child is getting on’ type thing. It would have been good to be able to go to that, but it was not to be. Jack bought home a picture book & a writing book that he’s been working on. Makes you happy & proud to look through it. I can’t say whether he is particularly good at anything, as I have little criteria on which to base anything, but that is not the point. The existence of a book of his drawings & his writing of his name is enough to give a parental warm glow.
Jack went off to sleep better last night. These exceedingly warm days seem to cause him problems relaxing off to sleep. He had been late off to sleep for a couple of nights previous & was getting a little tired & irritable because of it. We still count ourselves lucky though as they are pretty compliant regarding sleep. Although it seems to have been very difficult to convince him to relax, he’s not been foolish or irrational about it all. Just wriggling – saying that he cannot get comfortable, & chatty, as he cannot ‘switch off’. Normally I read him to sleep, but if I’m worn out, I’m in danger of falling asleep before he does. I get a brisk’ “Read daddy!” to remind me that I am supposed to be awake. The bedroom he & Eve are in is pretty small, & if there’s the 4 of us in there, it can get a little too warm as well – thus if Jack is too uncomfortable he is better moving into our bed to drift off to sleep. We can put him back into his own bed when he’s fast asleep proper. He usually finds his way back to us before the morning. Eve usually drifts off of her own accord. It must be part of her ability to keep herself occupied in general, but once in her cot – she accepts where she is, & generally will slip into sleep slowly. She was however jumping around in her cot before sleeping yesterday, but her afternoon nap was a little late. I laid her down & put my hand on her head, or chest, & she sloooowly drifted into sleep. A few smiles, but mostly sleepy nodding off. Sweet. Eve more or less sleeps through. She occasionally stirs in the night,out as I have said – she is very self sufficient.
You have to wonder if it’s because she is the 2nd child & as Jack does demand a certain amount of attention, she compensates? I was a 2nd child though, & I’m sure that I was probably more demanding when a young one than my elder brother.
Neil has announced that he & Jess are having an engagement party come September! EEP! It will be in the south east somewhere, as that’s where her parents are… so we will have to start mentally preparing ourselves & putting something aside for the train fare.
Sometimes you think a car would be a nice thing to have, but on the whole I am glad we have excluded one from our lives thus far.