Archives: jack

Back to the routine after last week’s disruption. Sigh.
The moon was high & bright at 5:30 when I woke up. Jude again seems to have taken this as the arrival of the day, but unlike yesterday I was up, & Louise didn’t really manage to get him off to sleep again. We had reports from other parents that the full moon aglow has fooled other kiddies as well. I guess it depends which was their windows point. Fortunately Jack & Eve’s room looks the other way.

We got the re-mortgage sorted now – all the bits & bobs came through on Saturday morning. It makes little difference in terms of outgoings excepting that I am now covered on life insurance & all that stuff; that’s a novelty. We can plan a trip to Ikea & start getting the rest of the things organised that we need to do with this money. It ain’t a vast amount & I’m sure it’ll be gobbled up quick – but shelves & a back door & replacement windows & a new bath might come to pass.

We had a few details to tie up with the bank on the Saturday morning, so we trooped off there before we set off to Hebden Bridge for a scout about. Louise brought back reports that Bionicles were on sale there – so this had to be checked. Sure enough they were & we bought one for Jack. I have some in standby that I’ve managed to get off ebay – so there were limits to what we could buy. I told Andy of these reports as well as their lad Hamish likes them too. Shot myself in the foot rather though as the ebay bionicles were also for Hamish’s forthcoming birthday present. Regroup – rethink. Silly me.

We had 2 birthday parties for Jack to attend this weekend. One was more for Eve, but we were all invited. I wonder when, demographically, most birthdays occur?

Travelling into work on the train as usual… Sigh.
My mind is not the usual fog of grasping at remembering through the fog of a fuzzy brain that would much rather have not arisen at 5:30. I was actually physically dithering this morning – a little of the shakes. At least I got to have the last of the steroids. The antibiotics look like they’ll last me into the weekend & the inhaler will have to live with me for a good while yet. I only used it the once yesterday & I haven’t really needed it today. Hopefully I can get away with minimal usage. Still I was hoping that I’d be feeling stronger & more confident that I do at this moment. Still – it’s only early yet. Still…
Louise has to face the kids at home alone this morning. Jude’s been an imp in the night – not settling down very well. As usual he’s happy – but Louise is going to be more tired than she needs to be from that. He’s due his hearing test afternoon. He may not cooperate. They had to give up with Eve in the end as she was too canny by the time they managed it, & Jude could be the same. Louise is supposed to sit there & distract him into looking forward while someone behind them makes a noise. Jude is likely to be as interested as Eve was at whet those people behind Louise think they’re doing. He’s a social animal – he likes to interact.
Is Jack going to be upset that I’ve changed routines yet again? Both Jack & Eve have enjoyed me being there in the morning, but it’s made things more difficult as well as easier as morning routines go. Apparently there are often tears in the morning when it’s realised that I’m not there, but when I have been & I’m not… Ah well. Depends who wakes 1st I suppose. Eve woke just before 6:00 this morning, but I tucked her into bed with Louise (& the already awake Jude) & she dropped off to sleep again. A too uncommon thing is for Eve to wake 1st in the mornings & come crying downstairs & cry as I’m not there etc. Then she has some breakfast & gets in her usual chirpy mood. Jack then wakes up & is upset & is even more upset with Eve gleefully announcing “Daddy’s gone to work!”

Still at home!

Things went a little better this morning despite me being woken by Jude at my usual rise & shine time of 5:30. Eve had managed to get upstairs into our bed at some point & Louise had gone downstairs at Jack’s behest earlier… so I kept Jude pacified for awhile (quarter of an hour or so – which was not bad) before he made enough noise to wake Louise & I had to surrender to getting up. Eve managed to sleep through Jude’s noises.
Louise managed to get Jude asleep – so I sat about a bit downstairs until Eve realised she was alone & woke in tears. I went up 2 flight of stars to get her & then as I was coming down again realised that was perhaps rushing was not such a wise thing to do (this being out of breath is getting silly). Louise carried her down the rest of the way & then went off to have her shower while Eve sat on me & told me about all sorts of things that were running through her head, but which have evaporated from memory now.
Such is the morning routine. Jack woke, Jude woke, Eve got dressed, acted like a wild thing. Jack actually ate some breakfast. I read his school book with him & he did rather well. I haven’t managed to read with him for a while (bad dad!) but he’s definitely recognising more words & is more willing to think about word structure & letter sounds.
Confusion, & then they are away.
I’ve pottered for a bit & retired upstairs to write this and perhaps get some kip, but now I realise that there are a few little jobs to be on with downstairs – so a kip will have to wait… bah.

At home.

Another day off work.
Andy took me down to see the doctor on Monday – in the car – which was extraordinarily good of him. The dr’s waiting room was warm & the air must have been very dry as I felt the best I had for some time sitting in there. As it was an emergency booking as well, there was a while to wait. Andy stayed with me as well! Got to see the dr & had to do the take the Jacket & T-shirt off routine. He listened to my chest which was now hardy rattly & I felt a little like a fraud with flu. He then asked me to blow through a tube to see how my powerful breath was. I’m supposed to make 650 for someone my age etc on whatever the measurement for this is all based on, but I only managed 350. He then told me I have asthma (!!). Gave me steroids & antibiotics to take & an inhaler. Blimey!

As I started to write today I was just a little out of breath from descending 2 flights of stairs. At least I can feel I can do stairs at a reasonably normal pace. I’ve also not had to use the inhaler that much either. Only allowed 4 shots a day & I only needed 3 yesterday. Felt cruddy in the morning & threw up breakfast yesterday, (perhaps it’s the medication?) but started to feel less cruddy in the afternoon. By evening I even had a hunger pang. Satiated with a small bowl of cereal & a cup of tea.

Jack has not really liked me being at home. He does not understand that if I am off work, he still needs to go to school – it’s not fair. He made a fuss going off yesterday & today. On being collected from school yesterday he said to Louise that he did not feel well etc, but his teacher popped over to say that he’d been fine & enjoyed himself that day. Louise could see the ‘drat’ on his face when she did that.
I guess that’s the only upset to the daily routine I’ve really caused. I suspect as I was not eating yesterday tea time, Jack decided not to eat. He can be fickle at the best of times, so it’s kinda hard to be sure I can shoulder the blame for that one.

22:07

Jack was a bit ‘wild’ this evening. I think it’s down, basically to me being at home. A change of routine does not do him a lot of favours. We flared up at each other, & he got upset & angry. He calmed down with hugs & then some drawing/colouring & much sharpening of crayons.
Eve has had a haircut at last. A near bob – but at the 1st stage. She looks more impish than ever. She was also left at ‘school playgroup’ for an hour. Louise was able to get away. 1st time she’s let Louise do that since the end of the holidays & start of schools again. Her potty training is going well at the moment as well. She seems on form in general.
Jude is climbing up on anything he can. He wants to be standing up.
I am kinda keen to be back to work – to ‘normalise’ things. But Louise points out that I’m really not that much better. I still cough a lot (stomach weak from it) I still get out of breath quite easily & I am not eating anything approaching normally. So, I delay another day before returning. Try to ensure I’m on form tomorrow.
At least I am getting a good rest I don’t think I’ve managed to grasp as much sleep as I’ve had the past couple of days for ages. I sneak a sleep while Louise is off at playgroup. I am not constantly tired & that makes me feel quite good.

Indeed – typing was cut short yesterday.
My brain cannot think of a suitable point to start this morning… just sitting here with a big duuuhhh…
Got a new pair of jeans after work yesterday – that’s interesting isn’t it?
My computer at work has been downgraded – which is a bit of a drag.
ah – Louise snapped at me for doing something daft yesterday; I was holding Jude & pulled over my (now tepid) cup of tea – He got some on his foot – jerked him away & he cried – nasty shock… Louise took Jude off into the front room while I cleared up & suddenly Jack started crying. He was really upset. I stopped clearing up & went to see what was up & he could not tell me through sobs. It sounds bad, but he was not actually crying, & he was, after a while ‘forcing himself’ – that is to say, his crying seemed rather ‘labored’. Interesting. The reason he gave when he managed was that he thought that we were mad at each other (Louise & I). Well, yes, for a fleeting moment, but as always these things pass quickly. We do not generally bicker & we’re both poor at maintaining a grudge. The worst we tend to be is ‘snappy’. Jack’s reaction was interesting though… if a little melodramatic… I’ve been wondering why such a reaction came up? He has been very… pernickety at the moment. Louise had a trial of toast not being quite right yesterday – crusts toppings browness, I imagine – I cannot recall the details. He didn’t want his tea either, even though it was the same tea he ate with gusto last week. He has been loving & everything. Perhaps he’s not feeling very secure… I don’t know why though. He’s been getting a lot of ‘good behavior’ smiley stamps on his hands – but then again that could be insecurity & a desire to please. Sigh… Parents tend to worry when they think about things too much. He’s generally very happy sat the moment… Perhaps he’s been talking with someone at school whose parents have split. William’s back – his parents have split… Do kids of 5 talk about that sort of thing?

Been falling behind on putting this journal thing up on the Internet… Oh well. There are only so many hrs. I’ve been working on getting ZUM! more up to date & all that… Nothing spectacular, just documenting what I should already have done, but not managed to.
Been prattling about on Ebay as well… Got me some Bionicle bits for Jack. He seems to like them, but have to confess that I also rather like them. Sad little me, but then, being a dad gives you a chance to play with your children’s toys (ahem).

I allegedly slept well last night… funny that. Seems I beg to differ with the actuality.

Eve is “The biggest girl in the wide world”. I thought I’d share that with you. She’s bigger than Jack, she’s bigger than Grandma, she’s bigger that daddy (me). I’m not sure where this opinion originated, but she is very pleased with it, & has often mentioned it over the past weeks.

Her playgroup has moved from the college to a room at Jack’s school. She went for the 1st time again yesterday & loved it immensely. She did not want Louise to go though… So Louise stayed & Jude enjoyed himself as well. Louise says that Eve really enjoyed herself. She was running with her head held high as she left.

Jack has settled into school again well. Louise was a bit worried on the 1st day back when the seating arrangements cast him as the only boy on a ‘girl table’, but this has not effected him. I think there was more concern he might get ribbed by more ‘boy centric’ boys for being on ‘the girl table’. Not so, & he does not really seem to have that distinction enforced as much as others. William, his old pal who moved to Spain has returned again – which has made him happy. I think he’s off to William’s after school this Friday. All in all, i think he’s enjoying school (as much as one does).
He’s a social animal.

We had another leak in a pipe above the back room – the one where we had a leak before & the insurance paid to have the room repapered. I all looked so nice, not quite so anymore. It’s not bad – it’s just not quite right anymore. Bother. Hattie (our plumber) came to fix it yesterday – which was really very good indeed as we thought she was already on holiday! It seems to be all fixed now. She came round yesterday afternoon & we left her to it while we went to pick up Jack from school – dilly-dally in the park & then we went shopping & had tea at the supermarket cafe (meeting other parents we knew there). All very convivial. All, quite importantly, out of the way – letting Hattie get on with work without having the kids (or me) peeking & poking their nose in. Still not quite sure of what she did from the description given on the invoice. Looks like a problem with the copper to lead connectors again. Yes, yes – lead – we still have some lead piping. I wish we didn’t, but it’s not like we can actually afford to have them removed. Bah.
Jude was up early this morning. Crawling round & happy. His word/noise of the moment seems to be, “Bwah”. He cawls round the floor investigating things with an accompanying “Bwah… Bwah…. Bwah”.

Missed typing yesterday for lack of brains. I had none – I was a somnambulist for most of the morning. Cough woke me too early & I did not manage to sleep again, thus I just was. Too stupid to realise that sleeping on the train would be a good idea as well… duh.
Jack is back to school today. He is not overtly keen; he’s been enjoying the holidays a lot & in ‘class 1’, “They don’t have so many toys” (he protested through tears when getting out of the bath the other night).
Still – he knows he’s going… so that bridge is crossed. Louise is worried that they won’t be able to get into the ‘morning routine’ that’s required to get him there.
He & Hamish have been playing very well over the last week – playing together for very long periods of time.. They seem to have come to a better understanding of each other & there are very few ‘fall outs’ as they want to go in different directions. I consider this a good thing – the art of compromise is working well for now. Hamish’s mum pointed out something which I hadn’t thought of with Jack having problems playing with his other near pal Jessie. Jessie has a close brother (age wise) & their playing could have a lot of non-verbal communication that Jessie might be expecting Jack to pick up on (as Jessie’s brother can) – & Jack plainly does not. Thus Jessie gets more annoyed & just sulks off to Jack’s incomprehension. I’ve seen this happen a couple of times.
Eve is very fragile at the moment. Not really sure why, but it could be likely to with the last tooth (upper right molar) which has yet to fully break through. It seems to be sapping her confidence as well at the moment. Louise & the kids went to another mother’s house yesterday & Eve was jumping about (as she does). The other mother was impressed by Eve’s agility & daring as her boy of similar age is not that daring (or foolhardy?). Eve managed a jump that bashed her chin somehow or other & she was hurt & she could not calm down. Louise had to take her out of the house for fear of her puking (as she does when really upset) She kept it in, but could not calm down. They had to leave, with Eve crying outside until Jude was put in the pushchair etc. She was still hot & bothered by the time we got home. She pointed to her chin – throwing her head back for me to inspect the gruesome damage… of which there was none. Still – it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. She bugged me into playing football & she threw it to me & I kicked it back – not that accurately because (lets face it) I’m not that good, & I was holding Jude as well. He was enjoying it – giggling at Eve & the ball. She did manage to impress me though. She kicked a very good volley back at me. A volley from a not quite 3 year old is impressive. She’s not really interested in the concepts of sport & kick about, (she’d rather sit on the ball a lot of the time) but she can kick the ball rather well if she wants to.
Jude is happy. He’s crawling with ease now, so is more interested in climbing up to a standing position on anything he can – sofa etc. He’s keen! He’s also a jolly baby. He finds many things amusing. We were down the kids bike track in the park the other day. It was a bit busy & he was in his pushchair while Jack & Eve (& Hamish & Amber) gadded about. He was happy just watching the kids pass by on their bikes – smiling & occasionally chuckling. His contentment is really amazing sometimes. He is quite strong though – he’s difficult to control in the bath. I sometimes give up & have to get him out before he’s really had enough play. Changing nappies can be very difficult as well, if he’s in no mood to cooperate. Louise uses the art of distractions to great effect.
I’m aware I’m just meandering in my writing, but sometimes it’s good to do that.

Louise has not broached the subject of school yet. Jack’s holidays end next Tuesday & he is still basically unaware of this fact. Louise now worries that she has left him unprepared for this sudden halt in the holiday.
Louise’s mum came over for a weekly visit yesterday & she was apparently in one of her blacker moods. Before Jack went to sleep he said that he hadn’t seen Grandma that much that day. He recalled when he had seen her; “I was playing out on the back street & she was sitting on the bench…. Then….. Sitting on the bench…. Then sitting on the bench… Then Sitting on the bench…. & then…. inside… & then & then….).