Written by: paul

Ate some tea last night. Louise had cooked a meal for the kids
& I had a go as well. Very nice. Stomach was a little
surprised, I think as it did protest a bit later on, but there was
no searing gut rot as before. Hopefully that corner has been turned
& normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. Did wake
this morning with a great stab of pain, but it soon subsided &
turned to… hunger. Cautious breakfast. This all does not feel
right, but it’s noticeably better.

Well – I felt better all yesterday, until I got home, & had
some crumpets for tea – at which point I felt grotty again. Might
have been nothing to do with the crumpets though as I had been
dashing around manchester for an hour after work doing a little
shopping. Could not get half of what I had intended, but that’s
what shopping is all about. Might have been that I had exhausted
myself a bit. On the whole today has been steady again. Louise was
OK yesterday; just hungry, but she said that if she has been
flailing about after the kids a lot she feels worse… so, perhaps
it’s a similar thing.
Both kids were awake before I left for work this morning. Just one
of those things, I guess. I had the door to to upstairs closed
& heard footsteps above. When I opened the door, Eve, who was
at the top of the stairs let out a little happy shout. She &
Louise then came downstairs. I carried Eve down & she hung onto
me for quite a bit. Heh – it’s funny the way she pushes your
shoulders to get you to point in the right direction. Jack used to
do that as well. He also will occasionally try to steer my head
when he is sitting on my shoulders, but I will have none of that.
He is getting rather heavy for shoulder carrying at the moment, but
it’s where he likes to be when I’m around. I guess as he gets older
I will get more used to the weight. I hope he is out of the habit
by the time he’s 21.
Jack woke as well, as I said. He gave me a very big hug as I
picked him off from the top step. He wanted to know if I was on
holiday as he hardly ever awake to see me before I leave. Ah, would
that were the case.
He did see me after I had set off to work though as when I got to
the train station this morning, I realised that not only had I
picked up my house keys but also Louise’s. Had to go back. Jack was
in the bedroom window as I came up the road home, & I watched
him do a double-take & fix himself to the window watching me.
As all were upstairs I shouted up the stairs to Louise as to what I
was there for – so that she could tell Jack, so that he would not
wonder what the heck I was doing. Had to catch the later train, but
was still the 1st in & in on time. (Blasted work
ethic.)

Louise’s visit to the doctors confirmed, as thought, that she has
the same as be. As she is more on the ball that me, she got some
advice regarding what is good or bad to eat. The main one to avoid
is fat – it seems, but a bit of added sugar is good as it gives the
bug something to … oh… I forget – something to do or something
to attach to? Whatever. Live yogurt is classed as good… oooh…
all right then.
Poor Louise has had a couple of very bad nights in a row. Not
sure, but I don’t think last night was as bad as the previous. The
main problem with sleeping is actually getting comfortable as the
pain is a bit all consuming (esp at night) & very constant.
Trying to get into a comfortable position is impossible, & you
need to be at least getting comfortable to sleep, as a rule.
Being tired & hungry has the effect of making you a bit more
irritable as well. This has not worked well for Jack as he has been
taking disappointment very badly this weekend. Granted, he is
likely to have been tired over the weekend – late to bed &
early to rise on Friday to Saturday. He has gone in or shouting
& crying at seemingly inconsequential things. You have to
remind yourself, at 4, these things are not inconsequential – they
are “not fair”. Going down to the cycle track at the park, only to
find that as you get there, the skies open. Shelter for half &
hour or so & as the rain dies down we head back home instead
(as there are things to be doing) of playing with the promise of
coming back tomorrow. Jack did not like that. He created for a lot
of the walk home. We did go the next day. If we say we will do
something we will.
One of the real annoyances of this bug is not being able to eat
what you want to. No fat means – shock horror – no chocolate or
crisps for me! Such a staple of my daily indulgence snatched away
from me. Fat holds so many foodstuffs together.. sigh. Taste is
limited. Fortunately :) chocolate milk seems to be universally made
with skimmed milk – joy! On the whole, I am certainly getting
better. I’ve taken a packed lunch to work with me, although not my
normal one, & my stomach does complain, but not to the extent
it seemed to do previously. Mind you, I am being a lot more
cautious about what I eat. I’m not sure when my diet will return to
normal. For instance, I have not dared have a hot drink in 7 days.
I must be effectively decaffinating my body – such a strange
thought. All this sounds outrageously healthy, whereas it is
anything but.
Homeward bound. Called Louise to see how she was doing today. She
sounded a bit jiggered. Lack of sleep & lack of food takes its
toll. Jack, as usual, wanted to say hello, so I had a quick word,
which ran something like:
“Hello Paul”
“Hiya Jack”
“… I love you Paul”
[aaaawwww :) ] “I love you too, Jack”
“I wish you did not have to go to work”
[aaaaawwwwww] “…Mmmm, so do I”
“Hang on a minute” [Jack drops the phone – there a little
confusion he says something else & eventually I ask to speak to
‘mummy’ (I gotta get back to work & too long on the phone at
work would be frowned on) & Louise comes back on the phone to
say goodbye]
Kids, eh? Have a habit of cutting to the core
sometimes…

Bad news – Louise has also fallen prey to the stomach bug I now
have. At least she knows to avoid eating solids, so should not
encounter any more ‘stomach cramps’. In a way, she was lucky that
she 1st got it in the afternoon (was suffering bad when I got home
yesterday) as it subsided enough to let her still have a reasonable
night’s sleep.
Led to an odd evening last night. Eve was tired, as she had not
managed to get a sleep during the day. She eventually was tipped
into total upset by a very slight thing; Jack attempting to coax
her indoors from the back yard as it was starting to rain. Floods
of hysterical tears & she wanted only “mummeee”. Eventually she
fell asleep (most likely with a sob) on the sofa, curled up with
Louise. Louise took to bed upstairs as she was not well – & I
attempted to move the sleeping Eve into her cot upstairs. Jack was
a little too willing to help, & she woke up – thus went into
our bed with Louise. This left Jack & I on our own. I made his
tea – just teacake with melted cheese (my… the thought of cheese
even now is infuriating, as I can mentally taste it – but fear
reprisal from my stomach for eating it). He scoffed a lot. He
chattered a lot, I was lazy enough to try to veg in front of the
telly news, but got roped into playing with Lego (duplo) bricks
& building towers. Louise came back downstairs & we popped
out late to get some supplies from the shop. He went in the
pushchair as he was a little tired & it would have been a bit
much carrying bottles of drink & him on my shoulders. As having
a bath would have disturbed Eve he just got changed him into ‘jamas
when he got back & read to him for a bit downstairs. As he was
showing little sigh of actually going to sleep (it’s just that
little bit exiting being read to downstairs) I took him upstairs to
his room & he was off to sleep with 10 minutes reading up
there. Aw…
Hmmm this morning’s train has either a foolhardy driver or the
brakes are not working properly. He is consistently overshooting
the platform. The conductor has to announce that people wishing to
depart the train go to the rear of the train. To add to farcical
flavour of this morning’s journey the conductor periodically
announces that his ticket machine is not working, & thus to buy
tickets from “the appropriate booking office”. So we have seen
nothing of him this morning either.

Homeward: Been shopping in town & have a bag loads of
groceries. Impulse buy today has been Tabasco sauce in anticipation
of eating again. Food is starting to be tempting, but the fear of
pain wins out. I am looking forward to feeling better. Lucozade
& chocolate milk are losing their appeal.
Louise will have been to the doctors as well with this stomach
complaint. Perhaps she might have gleamed more information as to
what it might be? Perhaps not though, as the doctor I saw is noted
for being basically up front. It would be nice to have some sort of
‘life cycle’ for it though… sigh… knowing my luck “as long as
it takes” & I do not feel confident that my health is back to
itself.
Bother.
Have the kids had it? It’s difficult to tell… we hope so, as we
wouldn’t want them to be afflicted by it. As previously said, Eve
had a couple of bad days last week, & Jack was off his food in
general for a few days before that as well. Such things could also
be interpreted as the usual run of events with kids. They don’t
really understand feeling ill so much at that age & just get on
with things for the most part (albeit grumpily). If you were to ask
Jack if he was feeling alright at the moment, he would say that he
has a stomach ache, but this is purely out of empathy for Louise
& I.

(Workward train)
Well, that didn’t work yesterday. The Ricicles I had for breakfast
had vengeance & caused considerable pain. I lasted until @
10:30 before I concluded that work just was not … working, &
left for home. Got an appointment at the doctors & found that
there is in fact a bug doing the rounds in town & I am yet
another victim. No real mention of what it actually is, but stay
off solids, drink frequently & have some paracetamol &
another tablet to keep stomach acid down… sigh.

(Homeward train)
Hmmm thinking about it, I seem to have 30 days worth of
prescription… I sincerely hope that this is precautionary. I
would rather not live on fluids only for a month!
So, there is no other diagnosis than ‘bug’. You have to wonder
from where you’ve caught it. Well – the kids were off food for a
period last week & Eve had a particularly bad day last Thursday
(Louise confirms that as the day she did rather a lot of nappys).
They are better now, I am on day 4. So did I catch it from them…?
I dunno really. I’m inclined to think not. The lads in the office
are not enthused by the thought I have a ‘bug’. Cotangent? Who
knows… heh – well, we’ll find out, I guess. If everyone else if
off, then that might force some reappraisal of the staffing levels
we currently suffer work under.
Today’s been one of those days – as we have ceased an old phone
number – where I constantly put the phone down & immediately
pick it up & also every so often have my ear chewed by an irate
customer. sigh.
As I managed to get home early yesterday & Louise was out with
the kids for a bit, I managed to get some time for potentially
useful things – which I filled with sleeping. I had terrible
gut-rot remember? When Louise got back I was a little surprised to
see that she had no Jack. This was a relief really as I was as well
not having him there to crawl over me. When Eve woke she did her
best at that, but was not so difficult (or heavy) as Jack in that
respect. I was able to loll on the sofa for the most part.
Jack had gone off with Leila & her mum & dad) for the day.
Leila lives a fair bit further from the centre of town than we do
& was apparently missing the lack of social activity from
school. When Jack came back he was happy & Leila said that she
did not want him to go (aw!). All was amicable tho on leaving – no
protestations & Leila’s mum said that Jack had been as good as
gold.
The kids have had haircuts recently by the way. Eve has had her
1st haircut – which was really just a fringe trim. She needed it
really as her fringe was forever getting in her eyes. Having a
straight fringe is odd though. It changes the aspect of her face a
little. She is still a pretty little thing, but her mischeviousness
is even more evident. It shines through those grins of her even
more.
Being off in the afternoon also gave me leave to read the
newspaper. There were articles on child safety & parental
supervision. There has recently been a court case in the UK where
the parents of a girl who was killed (with her friend) playing on a
railway were found guilty of her manslaughter due to ‘gross
negligence’. This has sparked a few articles hand wringing on the
subject. It makes you more paranoid. At the moment Jack is enjoying
a certain amount of freedom on his bike. Just round the back street
& cul-de-sac where we live, but nonetheless he is not visible
to us at all times. He is usually with the other kids who are on
their hols at the moment – most of which are older than he (up to
at least 9 years for one of the girls, I guess). They seem to look
after each other well, but occasionally Jack will come back crying
(usually as he has fallen over). The thing is, you ask yourself,
“Am I supervising him enough?”. Well, no in that you do not now
exactly where he is (but you do basically) & yes in that you
are assured he is basically safe. It would be foolish to be
‘spying’ on him all the time as the other kids (& he) would
resent the intrusion, but kids are kids – so the compromise has to
be to just ensure you eyeball him every so often to ensure that you
know what’s going on. The balance between freedom &
responsibility – eek!

Feeling better? Hopefully. Still went to work yesterday as well,
but sleeping on the train seemed the most important thing to do as
the night before was such a bad night for sleeping. I had had some
tea, not much & upped the stakes on the gut rot, was sick even.
Could not get comfortable in bed & eventually fell asleep on
the sofa downstairs. Weird. Yesterday I opted for liquids only
& although I went to bed hungry, I had no pain to keep me
awake, so slept quite well. I’ve tried a little breakfast this
morning, but not my usual repast with huge tea swilling. I still
have something of a headache & dullness, but my walking pace
has picked up from being a crawl, so hopefully I’m feeling better
in general; still do not feel quite right, but improving.
There was me, thinking on Friday night that now that Big Brother
had finished it’s summer run I might get back to being more
productive on an evening, or at least getting to bed at a decent
time. Well… I have been getting to bed early the last couple of
days – essentially weaving to our bedroom to flop after reading the
kids to sleep.
Hmmm… Trains are playing silly buggers again. Yesterday was OK,
but Monday’s didn’t turn up. Today we change at Rochdale for some
reason…
Still waiting outside Rochdale station to pull into the platform,
so there could be summat up with the line, this morning, I guess –
sigh.

Really feeling shite this morning.
Would rather be doing nothing, but on the way to work as usual – sucker!
Anyone else would be on a sicky. Blasted work ethic.
Got gut rot yesterday evening, which has proved a little, more persistent than your usual. Sleep early, which was as well as it was broken over the night. Feeling a general lack of enthusiasm for anything. Bah.
Saturday was a good day. Got a lot done even pushed myself into doing some wallpapering in the evening. Only 2 stripes over the polystyrene – but a good start on that wall. Needs to be done to stop the kids marking up the polystyrene that’s there.
Train starting – an old boneshaker – so I’m stopping.

Going to work. I have found myself a lot tetchier in the mornings. There can be no other explanation other than… work is annoying me. No one likes work, but I manage on the whole to keep myself detached from that side of thinking. Unfortunately I definitely seem to be forming the opinion that I do not like it. There is too much stress at the moment & it takes up too much of my thinking: 2 things it is not supposed to do.
Jack is on ‘summer hols’ at the moment. He asked Louise the other day when he could go back to school. He’s a social beastie is Jack, & he gets a lot out of it all at the moment. He was doing just afternoons before, when he returns he will be in official ‘reception’ class, & spending the whole day there. Quite a different arrangement: school, proper, even. It’s a very odd concept for a parent, let alone the child. What will Eve make of it all?
They have been playing very well together, with Jack being very good with his wild little sibling. He helped her up the stairs the other day. …Well, it’s not like she cannot do it herself, but they went up together, Jack with a protective arm held up behind her.
I wish to be home more, but life won’t let it happen (at least, not at the moment; hope may be refuge of fools, but I never said I was anything but.)

It’s a hot day today. Perhaps this is why people have been cranky on the phone? Had a really shitty day at work, with an above average ‘sanctimonious fool’ call rate. Also a general lack of back up to queries has not assisted my mood any. Matty packed it in & walked out yesterday. Still… I don’t suppose I care so much now as I am on the train home & no longer have think until tomorrow. My thinking capacity has been somewhat impaired recently. Picked up another cold/cough, am tired, it is, as mentioned, hot. I’m just a dumb-ass jack-ass – don’t ask me nuffink.

Work seemed to stabilise to yesterday. Back to there being not just me on the phone & a more normal level of work – not insane. Much relief & stress petering out.
No decorating last night. Had to do form filling for “Working Family Tax Credit” – which is the only thing that makes the job I do up to a reasonable (living) wage (I wonder how often i bleat that?).
“Tech support – gosh, that must be a well paid job?”
“Ummmm….”
Well, we have taken on more work (customers), responsibility & have taken on administration work, but, we are still paid less than accounts. I should complain – Alex, who does more work than me, gets paid less. Go figure – it’s the modern workplace – innit! Just in case you think this be all bad, I do quite like a few aspects of the job & I certainly like the hours I keep… Well, sometimes as the alarm nags me at 5:30, I do wonder, but that’s just sleep trying to hang onto me.
Jack woke last night. He said that he had, had a wee-wee before getting into the bath & we took him at his word… as neither Louise or I saw him do it. He probably had not as that what woke him & he woke confused & had a shout to us. I dashed upstairs to see what was wrong & his complaining woke Eve – so she started to complain as well – so there I was in a dark room with 2 wailing kids. Louise quickly came to the rescue & took charge of settling Eve, & I took Jack off for the wee he should have done earlier. That done, he was off to sleep, straight off. Jack has never wet the bed – which I consider pretty brilliant, really. It took Louise to point that fact out to me for me to realise something that I take for granted.