Written by: paul

‘The News’ was breaking as I was winding up at work yesterday… Oh, that sounds just too stupid… We tried to get some web cam footage from NY as all the news websites were timing out. The BBC eventually dropped ‘off the map’ under the strain. We managed to get some pictures just as I was leaving & it all looked worse than we thought.

It was, of course, much worse. Such platitudes are written worldwide at the moment.

When I got home, (when the kids were away in the garden playing) Louise & I turned on the TV & winced as they showed pictures of the event.

When the kids were in bed we looked again. News saturation does not suspend disbelief.

The NY skyline will never be the same. It will cease to be recognisable – just another city.

Paranoia about the future begins all over again. Media speculation is rife, & centres at the same hot point of speculation that was focused on after the Oklahoma bombing (we were actually in America then). Time may never tell. Truth may be lost in expedience.

I sat in my corner pollyfillering my wall.

Perhaps if I slept a little more, I would not feel like my head was a deep well from whence specific recollection a was leaking bucket.

Ah well. Too much to do.

Got a little decorating done – which actually met my personal target of completing that little bit by such & such. Next bit is the alcove at the other side of that chimney breast – which is also a bit of a mess & needs a fair it of polyfillering… Louise said, “Ah, that’s good, if we can get the rest of the wallpapering done by this time next week…”

Perhaps a tad ambitious, but… well you never know! If the wall patching goes well, it might not seem such an outlandish target.

Eve seems to be coming down with a little cough. Her voice was a little husky yesterday afternoon. I probably have the same, as I felt like I had been sorting out dusty books again as I tried to sleep last night. As all were in our bed I went to Jack’s bed so that I felt free enough to cough, sniff & splutter without disturbing anyone. Hopefully it will not effect her too adversely. She was not eating as well as she usually does over the weekend, but then, she is still suffering with teething as her canines take a while to come through. Fingers in mouth a lot… & biting her nails still… How do you tell a 22 month old not to bite their nails!

She understands most things fully well, & communicates as much as she needs to as well. I seem to recall Jack’s language development having more structural flow – more word strings… but she gets by happily on 2 or 3 word string sentences. Has opinions like, “No want that” as well. I heard her bossing Louise about while I ligged in bed on Saturday morning, demanding “cereal”, “spoon”, “milk” & suchlike.

Daredevil on the backstreet as well. Likes to get a good speed up on her trike, or sit-on-truck. She seems to be able to stop well enough although she’s a bit tough on the shoe leather. Amber & Hamish have been playing around at our house quite a lot as well. I had Jack & Hamish very interested in my wallpapering for a while on Sunday. I looked out the window later & there was Jack, Eve, Hamish, Amber & Jessie all at the table on the front patio at one point yesterday. Jessie, I think, is in the same class as Jack at school, & lives on the street at the end of our cul-de-sac. Although he lives essentially a few doors away, he has only just started playing out with the rest of the kids from the street, or rather off from his side of the road. With all these kids about it does sometimes feel like we have an open house.

I assume they got the class to draw a picture of themselves.

Did I get any decorating done last night? Did I chuff! I did ‘play’ on the computer though. Got a nice chunk of redesigning the bits behind this page done*. Rejigged it so that it is better HTML & uses CSS so that it’s… well, basically better code & easier to ‘administrate’. Not seemingly a lot of good, but it’s a pride thing. I’d been playing with icab as a browser again. It’s a nice little thing, but if a page has ‘bad’ HTML coding it has a little icon of a ‘smiley face’ on the menu bar that goes red & unhappy. I thought I’d cheer it up. There’s still a <strike> code in the August page which I want to keep – so it’s only moderately happy there.

Louise & I were chatting about how well the kids are doing at the moment. She’s chuffed at the was Jack has settled into the school routine so well. I don’t really get that much of an impression on how he is doing, as, I guess Louise gets the detail off him. He did say to me that they had done ‘curly c’ yesterday, but then he knows most of his letters now. The social side of things is enjoyed. They played out 3 times yesterday…

Eve seems to be coming on very well with her language. Louise says that they chat most of the day, so I guess that she would. She says Eve’s ability to copy words is impressive. When talking of colours (which she does not quite ‘get’ yet) she repeated “bluey-green” after the one speaking. Not a useful word, but quite a complicated one. Eve is picking up on singing as well. ‘Wheels on the bus’ was sung yesterday & Eve joined in & may well have been singing it afterwards to. She does sometimes break into a rendition of ‘Twinkle Tinkle Little Star’ but only a few phrases. As we were doing the bed time routine yesterday, I was having difficulty concentrating on reading to Jack as I was listening to the conversation Louise & Eve were having as she tried to persuade her that she should go into her cot.
A lot of replies from Eve like, “No bed”, “No Cot” & even a “No thank you”. Choice was not really an option in the end, & she did go in her cot with the minimum of complaint (crying about the injustice of it all).

*original html based diary pages

i am special …say it every day

Write a comics review? Write the diary? Write a comics review? Write the diary? Write a comics review? Write the diary?

…..

Well, as there are details that I would like to say about what Jack’s been doing at school, & as my memory is feeling scorched by tiredness (detail eludes me) – reviews it is. Maybe I’ll be back writing more diary in a minute…

Hectic couple of days at work & home, so travelling home today is my 1st writing time. My fault for trying to do too much at home. Been actually starting to write some comic reviews again, & although they are not fully formed enough for ZUM! as yet, I thought I’d bat them off to a review zine in the states. Dunno what will come, but why not thinks me. I was too late to bed last night, so have a ‘background’ headache now, due to tiredness.

Jack’s 1st day at school went well, according to reports, although he was a little tired. He was lying on the sofa watching “The Travelling Thornburys” (my favourite cartoon at the moment) when I got home. Louise says that she was worried how he’s be when he came out from school – overexcited or whatever, but he was happy & placid. He had a good day at school, likes his teacher, & had some stories & … well, rather enjoyed it. It’s not really as if the surroundings are unfamiliar as it is the same school as he has been attending ‘nursery’ school at. He is now in what is termed ‘reception class’.

Louise didn’t tell me how leaving him there was, but then, as said, this is just next from nursery. The school day started later yesterday, but it was a normal start time this morning, which may have been more difficult. Everyone was asleep in the house as I left this morning. Hopefully everything went well, but Louise had go clothes, shoes etc all prepared the night before, so in theory everything will have gone smoothly.

It was just Louise & Eve yesterday, & Louise said that Eve did not stop talking & noise making all day.. well, we knew she was loud, but I guess that Jack has also been around masking the noise she makes on her own. She had fun by the sound of it – playgroup & more attention to just her. Heh… there’s girl about Eve’s age, with an older sister about Jack’s age. She was there at playgroup, & when she say Louise & Eve – she greeted them as Jack. It seems as she likes Jack, both Eve & Louise also must be called the same.

Jack was a bit difficult at tea time yesterday, as he can be sometimes. He did not want to come to the table to eat, so we didn’t bother trying to force the issue. He was mean to his sister when she had finished, a lego dispute again – he was trying to build something & she pinched a brick, that was either next to or part of his construction, he hit her, she got so upset she ‘lost’ her tea… so, effectively none of them had a tea, really. Jack did not get a tea after that mayhem. All calmed & cleaned up reasonably quickly, but it is especially disheartening for Louise when that happens as she spends this time cooking the meal, only to have it all messed up. Nice meal too – a new sweet & sour… Hey ho…

Dad called last night for ‘tech support’ on his computer. It seems, as he is entirely new to a windows or generally GUI interface, he was a bit rash with the left & right clicking, & somehow ended up getting too high a monitor resolution. He got it back to normal eventually in ‘Safe Mode’, but it took a few goes, & we also installed the printer drivers so that he could do what he wanted to do. Quite good to get that bit sorted – next to get him online!

Got home from work yesterday & Louise was sewing tags into Jack’s school clothes… Today, I guess he will get dressed up for school, but it is not the start. He is going with Louise to meet his teacher, whom they already know from contact through nursery class. Tomorrow is the ‘big day’. It’s sort of scary really, when you think about it too much…. He’s going forward into the ‘system’. Obliged to attend. You could say that he is ready for it as he seems keen to be learning, but nonetheless I resent the fact that his days will be taken up by this for the rest of his childhood & beyond. Our influence will also be less central. He is an open & friendly child, but he also lacks guile. Louise said the other day that she thought he was a little green… She caught him mentioning to another lad on the street that Eve had wee’ed on his Postman Pat duvet the other day… He got an, “Eeyurgh!” reaction from the other lad. Ah, he’s sweet & sociable – he should get on. He has some of our quirks, but we can do little about that.

Sigh.

Thinking about it too much…

Bleh

not a great night sleep. Had metaphorical dreams of clearing my chest – wiping data from a computer that I did not want – appropriate enough for my foolish computer addled brain. Tidied up our/to be the kids bedroom yesterday. Took all to hyuge boxes of books & records upstairs again. Was surprised that I could actually lift a couple of them! We weeded through a couple of boxes as well – disposing of books that we will never be reading, & do not really want gracing any shelves that we may have in the future. Three bags & a small box full to go to the ‘book bin’ at the recycling point in town (for Oxfam).

Anyway – all the shifting & opening of books generated the sort of dust that really gets to me, & thus I have ‘tight lungs’; just a bit of a phlegmy cough – the sort of thing that does not help sleep. Still, I don’t feel too bad this morning, that considered. I really must not stay up too late tonight or I will really start to turn into a zombie. Still a lot more sorting out to do! I rather hope that we can get some bookshelves for downstairs, it would be good to have the sort of thing again. The records tough… eep – what are we going to do with those long term? The do make excellent ballast for a bottom shelf (making a free standing unit very stable.

Jack was all keen to help, & Eve enjoyed pottering about, but I was left on my own in the end to tidy things up. Jack later burst into tears when he realised I’d done this as he was evidently been expecting to help. Louise went round ‘our/to be the kids’ room later & hoovered & so on, so it now looks… unnaturally tidy! Weird. I guess that’s what we are supposed to aspire to though. Perhaps when the walls are one uniform colour & not half wallpapered & half green washed old plaster with many patches of polyfiller… Be nice if we can stretch to a new carpet in there as well, but I feel that may be pushing it a bit.

Read James Kolchaka’s Diary strips the over the weekend. Finished it over my morning breakfast. It’s an intriguing thing. I’ve read a few diary comics (John Welding’s Goathland & Jim Cameron’s ‘ision’ series) but this is in the form of a 4 panel strip. It must have occurred to him at some point that this could be ‘sellable’ to a ‘daily’ paper. Having said that I may be being over cruel in my thinking on his motivation. It may have started with no real intention of being used in that way… Means must at times. Whatever, the whole concept intrigues me. I keep this text as a form of diary, & the limitations are frustrating, but they are usually due to my Lousy memory & inability to capture those tiny moments of life that are so interesting. It makes me think that drawing a 4 panel cartoon in this was would be a good discipline, but I have so little time to do what I want in the 1st place, that this seems a foolish ambition. It makes me think that I should at least try to illustrate, in whatever way, my daily ramblings.

What has James achieved in his comic? Well, I would recommend it as a comic to another comic creator, but I have misgivings as to how Joe Public would approach such an item. James snatches little moments in time, & they range across many little facets of life… love frustration & the occasional bit of crabby joy. Reading an individual strip would only make you feel as though nothing was happening, but a collection like this, or a daily drip feed, I think would soon have people hooked (even a great many of Joe Public). People, I guess are inherently nosey, & this, you could amply theorise, is just another block in the ‘Big Brother’ syndrome (as we is all big brother now). It’s kinda sweet, & I like the way he draws – always have.

Full of good intention.  I thought I might
get to sleep sooner last night, but failed as usual. Did get all
the tweaks done on my website that I had intended, but did not
really get far enough to actually posting up a new ZUM! review or
2, which I had intended.  Ah, well.
Jack was really chatty yesterday.  Quite full of wanting to
tell me things & join in.  Louise said he had been all
day.  Louise’s mum had bought us a copy of the new Ikea
catalogue, (Louise’s auntie Cathleen had had it dropped on her
doorstep & had put it aside for us, & Louise’s mum picked
it up for us when she went round; Cathleen said that she had put it
aside as she thought that we might be interested, so Louise’s mum
brought it along for us, but she’s never had one delivered , &
she wonders why Cathleen has a delivery and… oh, sorry just
started relating ‘as told’ by Louise’s mum).  Where was I…
Ah, Jack went through he whole catalogue with me, chortling at
things he thought might be ‘funny’.  It would have been quite
amusing for me, had I not had quite such a testy day at work. 
Perhaps I was in a negative mood in general, but people calling up
with problems – things like; an involved
explanation of a problem, then a couple of questions on my part
that indicating that the imagined problem was nothing of the sort,
& then finding that they were not even in front of the computer
to do any diagnosis; and the general attitude of ‘business users’
when you answer the phone, greet them, & they greet you as if
they have just discovered a talking dog shit… sigh…  I
guess I’m feeling a little over busy at the moment.  Such
things do not usually bother me, I’m not exactly you’re ‘sensitive’
type in such matters, but you need the chance to maintain an
equilibrium between calls.  Not really possible at the
moment.  One of the company bosses called yesterday, I started
treating him as a normal caller; Opening schpiel, listen – ‘Problems
dialling’? OK are you windows or mac?…  He butted in & had
to tell me twice who he was before the cycle of ‘getting on with
it’ was broken.  ‘Problems dialling’ was about people trying to call me
– Hah!  “How many calls do you take?”  “I dunno – I just
answer the phone as much as possible”.  Oops started to rant
on there.
Jack was still in a burbling mood when he went to sleep – wanting
to tell me about his day in Hebden Bridge with mum &
grandma.  There was some burnt wood in the river (probably by
the playground) & something blocking the road at some
point.  I turned out the light, as he was keeping himself
awake with the chatter…   He was quite for a bit, &
then said, “I’m frightened,daddy.” which was a surprise.  He
was concerned about the shadows on the window – that were only the
shape of the window itself.  I hadn’t considered this… He is
getting more aware of is surroundings, as said before & he had
not really had the chance to drift off to sleep in the dark
recently as the days have been long enough for him to miss
them.  Poor little one.  I explained that it was the
window & there was no reason to be afraid, reassured that I was
there & he seemed to accept it, as he drifted off to sleep
OK… but …poor lamb.

More pollyfillering of walls last night.  Felt a bit exhausted
on going to bed… Odd really as I was not later than I would
normally be, & pollyfillering is not exactly a strenuous
activity – maybe a little stretching here & there, but that’s
yer lot!  Quipped, when done for the evening that I’d not be
doing this tomorrow, & Louise retorted, “Why?”.  I’m
wanting to do some ZUM! work & suchlike.  Louise is right
to be concerned that time is slipping by though.  She is 5
months pregnant & overall, I cannot really claim to feel we are
making that much progress.  In reality, it is progressing, but
I’m all to aware that it seems too little, & perhaps resent
being reminded of that.  I’ve kind of resolved to see how a
period of alternating nights between the computer & the
decorating goes.
There is just never enough time.
I have been asked to work Saturday morning again, due to there
being no one else to cover that shift.  When I say ‘asked’ I
really mean I have been marked down as in for that shift without
having been consulted.  Like anyone I would prefer to know
when things are changing.  In this instance it is rather
inconvenient as we have still to do a shopping expedition to get
clothes for Jack’s imminent school start.  This was planned
for Saturday…
My brain would like to stop now, it is feeling weighted by
tired.  Commuter zombee mode start…

Jack was still in this ‘at odds’ mood yesterday.  Louise was
saying that  he was trying to bait Eve, by playing with things
that she wanted to play with – thus not giving her much of a look
in.  She however if far more effective at teasing him then he
her.  Especially at the moment when he is so ‘fragile’. For
instance, trains again:  he is paying with his trains &
she walks up & pick one of the ones he is playing with. 
He immediately erupts in complaint – loud & near tearful. 
She regards him a moment & casts the train down 
again.  I’ve seen her do this a couple of times.  If Jack
does this to Eve, it’s 50/50 as to whether she will react or
ignore… actually, it’s probably more likely she will
ignore.  Jack does not seem to have the upper hand in this
‘game’.  Episodes of snatching & howling do occur
though.  We have a brio-esque wooden train track & trains
& have recently got a couple of battery operated engines to go
with it (one actually Brio branded – lummy!).  Last night they
tried to play with them, but… Jack had it in mind that he wanted
all the trains…  It all got very loud, & ultimately, as
Jack was incapable of sharing, the battery engines were taken
away.  Choices or sharing or removal were given, but
ignored.  Cautions were given – but shouted replies, &
ignored – so they had to be put away.  Jack was rather
inconsolable for a bit, but after the excuse of going for a wee
& therefore removed from the room he calmed quickly.  He
was too upset to go to the toilet himself – wanted Louise to carry
him, but she was too tired to take him upstairs… He did not want
me to take him to the toilet, so it ended in the compromise of me
hoisting the wailing boy up the stairs (I jumped him up – dropping
his feet onto each stair – which altho upset amused him) &
Louise taking him to the toilet.
Ah, the things parents do… But as Louise pointed out later –
these things seem trivial to us, but in his world view, where he
has so little control, such things feature large.
Jack does seem to have reached another level of ‘conscious’… He
seems more aware of his surroundings… He is certainly getting
very interested in writing, & will sit writing out words. 
He will ask how you spell a word, & you have to verbally spell
it out so he can write it down.  The results are sometimes a
little odd, but sometimes also rather impressive (from a proud dad
perspective).  Having taken longer on forming letterforms he
also sometimes slows down with his drawing & is taking more
care on what he does – resulting in some rather good drawings
too.  I am too aware that I have the potential to become a
pushy parent with drawing, so I just let him do what he wants.
Eve is eating loads at the moment & growing with it. She seems
to have gone through one of those moments when you realise that she
is a larger version of her former self.  In many ways – since
she has been walking, she has changed little, but such things are
subtle, as I’m sure she’s changed a great deal in reality.  As
enthusiastic as ever & loud, but uses more words (vocabulary
gradually expands).