Monthly Archives: June 2002

Type anything to start typing… Having trouble thinking this morning. Jude & Eve were awake an hour before I’m due to get up. Eve wasn’t making a fuss or anything, & Jude wasn’t being that loud, but they were awake at the perfect time to throw my sleeping pattern. I think I’d rather have my eyes closed this morning; mitigating circumstances are: I can’t think.
Eve was on the ‘Nyeurks” again yesterday. Not full on, but being a bit of a pain. One day off, one day on? Louise & Eve may be going to college today – there apparently being a spare place at the play group there. Interestingly, it seems that the college has been making it difficult for the playgroup – rising rents, poor facilities… Jack’s school has had a new porta-cabin installed & it looks as though they are going to move to that (they have close links with the school anyway as the playgroup to nursery to reception class thing has a consistency of the people involved. Really, this can only be a good thing for Eve as she will be going to that school. It’s a shame the college seems to have taken, if not a negative attitude toward the playgroup, certainly a uncaring one. One of the reasons it was initially set up there, I believe, was so that those taking classes there could have some form of facility of their young ones…
Shortsightedness & ‘market forces’ win out again. <sigh>

Actually got back to decorating again last night. As usual – not much, but the act of actually doing it is encouraging enough. At this rate I shall be in a position to finish off the skirting boards, if not this week, then certainly next.
Eve slept through in her own bed last night – something she’s not managed for… um… well, probably since we got back from holiday. She also had a much better day in general. She’s been off form with teething & impetigo. Her favorite word of the past week or so seems to have been, “Nyeurk!” – as in,
“Are you OK Eve?”
“Nyeurk!”
“What’s that in yer mouth Ev…”
“Nyeurk!”
“Would you li…”
“Nyeurk!”
“Could y..”
“Nyeurk!”
“EVE!”
“NYEURK!”
sigh
Hopefully she will be feeling less nyeurky now.

One day weekend.
We were going to go to Manchester yesterday, as Jack needs some new school trousers. We didn’t make the train though, so we went in the other direction to less glam Halifax. We were on our way home through the Piece Hall there (old enclosed market square historically used for cloth trade) & there was a sort of ‘event day’. Band playing (Was that brass or trad jazz? -I forget now) & a few craft oriented stalls. Spotted a very nice bench in passing & went back to investigate. We decided to buy the darn thing. Nice High back & ample seat. He was happy to deliver for no extra charge as well (weird coincidence – he said he sold a table to someone as was packing up for the evening & someone came up asking to buy a table. Asked if he could deliver he joked that only if you live in Todmorden – as he had to deliver this bench to us… The fella did live in Tod & only just round the corner as well.
The bench sits very nicely in the back yard. Louse & I managed to sit down together on it for a whole 10 minutes before the need to be getting on with things pushed us off.

Traveling home from work. Grotty brained. Hmmm – I was thinking I might write, but I can’t really muster the enthusiasm. An unproductive day at work (between calls). Just pratted about instead of applying myself. I’m not saying that it was hateful or anything, but I’ve come away with a feeling of nothing achieved, when I could have… but that’s the way it goes. I’m not a super motivated focus person. Ambition is not my goal. I do frustrate myself sometimes though. Shall I harangue myself into renewed vigor?
I think not.
It would be nice if I had the ability to focus better; & I sometimes think that’s what can push a person to be really good at something, but it’s the everyday I need to focus on, & attentions pull & push in all directions. Too much to do creates catharsis. Stubborn sod that I am.
Mark this down as another self-centred naval gazing entry to the journal.
:P

Jack was keen to go to the fair, so I took them. Louise had to go home with Jude as the pushchair would not have coped. Into the mud we ventured.
“Uh-uh mud
Thick oozy mud
We can’t go under it,
We can’t go over it
Oh no, we’ll have to go through it”
I still carried Eve. We made it through squelching & squertching as well as sloshing through, I hesitate to demean with what might seem an inadequate description: puddles. They enjoyed themselves they went round & round & up & down – they wanted more. We ventured further to a stall. Oddly there seemed few stalls with less people willing to wade. With limited funds we managed to get a Combine Harvester & farm set for Jack & Eve to play with. Oh, & a couple of beach balls on a string & stick – masquerading as balloons (cheap & cheerful). Unfortunately this left only enough for one more ‘ride’. Jack went into ‘the house of fun’. Enjoyed himself a good while with Eve & I looking on. We had to go in the end though. Take our muddy feet home.
Home things:
Eve is teething at the moment. A lower right molar is trying to make an appearance. This drives her a little nutty. She’s was being a right madam & miscreant yesterday; cereal on the floor & hitting Jude to name but 2 offences. Hitting Jude it the one that’s very annoying. She’s also still got a bit of impetigo on her chin but that’s thankfully healing up. It’s meant that Louise can’t take her to playgroup etc though, so they’ve had less distraction that they would usually get. Hopefully it will be deemed cleared up enough for her to go to college today.

Mmm – the weekend’s ‘Agricultural Show’.
Well, last week was pretty wet, but it seemed to be getting better toward the end of the week. The Show was getting ready on Thursday & on Friday the fair set themselves up. Unfortunately there was then a cloudburst on Friday evening – a thunderstorm – a downpour. It was quite impressive really. Jack went from front window to back window to catch the rain pelting (or “hitting” as he puts it) down. Not good for ‘The Show’ though.
We dallied on Saturday morning – there was some football on the telly to watch, but eventually we made our way down to the park to ‘The Show’. People were coming out with shoes & trousers plastered in mud; pushchairs with caked wheels – didn’t look good… Once through the gates you could see the deep furrows the horse trailers & lorries had left over the grassed areas that’re supposed to be the footy pitch… A major annoyance was that as people were reluctant to park their cars on the grass, some fool deemed it OK for them to park on the children’s playground. One suspects the decision maker did not have children of their own. I dislike cars at the best of times, & was not able to just pull back a swing & let it smash into a car because there were actually people sat in some of them… darn.
We went around the paved walkway circling the park (& the show) to survey the prospects of an easy access. Disappointed that the livestock were not here last year. Apparently latent Foot & Mouth fears persist. In a way, it’s just as well as Eve does not like animals really. She was quite scared of all the horses that were around & needed to be carried everywhere. Could not risk putting her down once the decision was made as she would have got muddy feet & thus I would be muddied. We ended up back at the playground & managed to find a little room between the impromptu car park to play. There was even nearly enough room for Eve to have a swing. Shame she had to kick a car while she did it, shame I didn’t let her get her bots muddy & shame some unsporting official asked us to move while another car moved out of the way (further onto the playground…).

Feeling better? Marginally. I conceded to feeling awful yesterday, & went to bed early, in the hope that I was just run down. Had a good nights sleep & …well, I feel better, but not great, by any means.

Jack slept a bit better last night. He woke at 3:00 & 3:30. I think dreaming is disturbing him at the moment, but he’s not specific about it. He certainly would like me to sleep in his bed, but I tell him I’d be too noisy at the moment (I would – coughing & snorting). I think he settled off OK again, but he must have stirred again as when I got up this morning he was sleeping against his bed like he had been sitting on the floor next to it to watch down the corridor; this was what he was doing when I first went to see him at 3:00. Oh, I put Eve back in bed properly then as well, as she looked to be straying to the point where she might fall out of bed. Unlike Jack, her bed is off the floor.

Eve has a spot of Impetigo at the moment, poor girl. She cannot go to playgroup or college. She is mixing with the kids on the street, much to my general concern, but you can’t stop that. She’s started saying to Louise, when she is told that she can’t do something that she will be able to, “when me chin gets better” (accompanied by vigererous head nod). She still uses ‘me’ for ‘I’, but on the whole she’s very acute with her language nowadays. You take such things for granted. She’s full of life is Eve, running, jumping & all that. She does not like animals so much though; anything larger than a medium sized dog or a cat freaks her out a bit. In a way, it was a good thing that there were not hoardes of animals at the Agricultural show this weekend.

I still have the sort of feeling I have in my head when you are 1st woken by the alarm clock – dull fuzzy ache.
I would much rather be getting more sleep. The night before last was a poor night & last night was even worse. I have a cough, -so was tight chested & wheezy, & having to get out of bed regularly for Jack, as the night before. It’s odd – he’s been sleeping so well for the past couple of months, but these last few days he’s been making a fuss in the night, because, when it comes down to it he says he does not want to sleep alone. This is not a habit we wish him to get into, so we are discouraging it, but it’s hard work. Oh & Jude is jolly loud when he wakes up as well.
Heh – back to my selfish immediacy – I am tired. There’s bound to be more I’d like to report about ‘the hols’ but it really feels like I should stop as I’m feeling left behind.
uh oh – typing stop; I’m too much of a dullard this morning. If I could converse rather than type I’m sure the nudge of a conversation would keep momentum, but I type, & my hands fell heavier than they should and

standing in the same spot at the same time each morning

Not feeling grand this morning… Ah well.

Holiday:
Friday was also sunny. Jack & I spent a good long while building a large sandcastle with a moat. Eve nearly helped. I got rather burnt, as was evident the next day at the comics convention in Bristol. Jack & I set off with dad early in the morning (he was off to the Fruit & Veg market to stock up). The veg market was quite fun for Jack as well – it’s a vast area of wholesale sellers. We had breakfast in a little porta-cabin as the main cafe seems to have closed down – shame. We then were dropped off by The Watershed in Bristol where I assumed the convention was to take place (as per last year). Should have checked really – ah well. Anyway, as it was rather early Jack & I wandered round a bit in town waiting for the start time. Picked up a couple of records I’ve been looking for, for a while in a decent independent record shop – that sort of thing. Then off to the convention itself, when the true location was found. I did not enjoy the convention, but I will be lazy & not repeat myself, merely repeat a mail I sent round the Bugpowder mailing group:

sigh

I’m very glad that nick had a good time. I’m home now from my hols that incorporated a most pleasant break at my parents, but have to admit my day in Bristol was the Nadir of the holiday. My Yahoo mailbox is full, & Nick’s mail on the subject is all that I have – I do not want to bother with looking at the web for the group replies direct. I want to mutter on for now.
I apologies for not hanging around for the small press talk. I should have, there were only 20 more minutes, but if you are somewhere you don’t want to be, then 20 minutes is irrelevant.
The whole set up reminded me of an old TUC building comic mart. It was not a convention. It was a crowded, hot sweaty room of people selling comics of which I felt distant to. The fact that there was a good small press presence there couldn’t get over the fact that my whole mind set was disengaged by all the crap. Is this my problem
well..
after scant consideration i deny that this is a problem that I should get over.
This convention seemed to pride itself on the fact that it was family friendly, but it was not even vaguely friendly. It was oppressive & my son was keen to leave as soon as he arrived. I concede he may have picked up on my unease, but he is smart enough to make up his own mind. There were small oasis for him – like R2D2 – which was about his height.
Again I declare this was no convention.
For those of you staying in hotels, you had that part of the day to be social, but where was the social area at the event? There was no space!
If it were not for the fact that they had decided at the train station that day to check everyone coming & going on the platform had a train ticket, then there would have been very fine bar there we could have gone to. I’m not saying that a license for alcohol is needed at the event, but areas nearby where socialising would be possible would be good. Somewhere separate from the general mass would be good. A pleasant accessible nearby pub a bonus.
What I’d really like to see a move away from though is the grid of tables stacked with boxes of comics as the focus of any ‘convention’.
You go to record fairs & mart for that stuff. It does nothing to change the public’s view that comics are shite for that to be so central It’s just a lack of imagination.
I came home with a total of 3 comics, & only one of those I could call a ‘small press’ thing. This is very bad as there were many many comics that I have not seen before, & it’s in my nature to want them all – to explore all – naturally I can’t afford such things, but I feel ZUM! taking a wider & wider orbit in the small press world. At the moment there’s little I can do really. I cannot spend the time I want to write reviews organise & even gather the comics. I lament & hope for the future, with a wistful wish that I could have someone help me with it… but pragmatically, I will just have to continue to lament. I have never liked ‘ignorance is bliss’ though. On personal level it gnaws at my soul.
OOP
drifted off topic into the area I might have briefly bemoaned at the talk so – anyway – can we have it a little more ‘people’ orientated next time?
I wish I could go to caption – but I can’t afford – It’s not practical.
hey ho
wishing for a better world
paul

<sigh>
I wonder if I should comment further on this? Jack’s response to the
whole event was to get away. He was taken with the idea of going to start with & he liked the venue of last year’s event. They’ve been doing redevelopment work down at The Watershed & there are some interesting features like fountains & a big silver globe. The comics convention site was by the train station. As we arrived there were a couple of storm troopers, Bobba Fett (or was it Jango Fett? – I don’t really know, but he did have a considerable beer gut & bad trainers) & Darth Vader. They had fake guns & Jack did not like that. We have no toy guns in the house, but other kids around have them. In those circumstances he knows that they are toys, I guess… I don’t think he expected adults to play with such guns. A brief reassurance got him past. He was pleased on getting in to have a gnasher badge, which seemed to be the “I’ve paid to get in” badge. He did not really like the crowds of people much. He liked the Metaphrog people as John gave him some leaflets for his bag & spoke to him & was a pleasant fellow. We met Darryl, which was a very nice surprise. He gets him confused with my brother a bit, but then he gets my brother confused with Darryl. Dark hair angular face is about as far as the similarity goes. He was keen to be out of the crowded heat of the ‘main hall’. I lost sight of him once, which panicked me. We spent a while outside, but eventually went back in again. There were a couple of rows of Playstations, cubes & Xboxes set up for people to play on like an arcade area & Jack leapt up to them to have a play. He had little idea what he was doing & I had only marginally more (too many buttons). After a while swishing a light sable around, piloting an uncrashable space plane & making spiderman jump around at random we finished with that. Jack was then keen to leave again, & I was in wholehearted agreement. I was due to be on the small press talk though. It was only half an hour away. I checked the room in which the talk was to take place & ‘Little Room’ was a very good description. Realising that it would be even more hot & sweaty & probably akin to torture I went to the bloke who I think organised it, made my apologies & then scarpered.
Anyway – getting home was not a great success either. I left in the hope of catching a specific train & asked which train & time it might be when buying a ticket. I did not think to double-check, & if I had thought about it properly I would have. I was pointed at a train that was later than the one that I should have caught… so I did not have any time to correct the mistake when I realised the error – so Jack & I had to wait a good while longer for the next train. I suspect it was over an hour, but I don’t care to recall.